"Correct" Expressions

It has been brought to the Management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation. Due to complaints from the more easily offended employees, this conduct can no longer be tolerated.

The Management does, however, realize the importance of each person being able to fully express themselves to fellow employees. Therefore the Management has provided the following encoded list such that the exchange of information may continue.

No fucking way!: I'm not sure that's feasible.
You've got to be shitting me!: Really!?!
Tell someone who gives a shit!: Perhaps you should check with...
Ask me if I care: Of course I am concerned.
It's not my fucking problem!: I was not involved in that project.
What the fuck?: Interesting behavior.
Why the fuck didn't they tell me sooner?: I'll try to schedule that.
When the hell do they expect me to do all this shit?: Perhaps I can work late.
Who gives a shit?: Are you sure it's a problem?
He's got his head up his ass!: He's unfamiliar with the problem.
Eat Shit!: You don't say!
Eat shit and Die!: Excuse me.
What the fuck to those assholes want?: They weren't happy with it?
FUCK IT! I'm salaried.: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Shove it up your ass!: I don't think you understand.
This job sucks!: I love a challange.
Who the hell died and made you boss!?!: You want me to take care of this? / Congradulations on the promotion.
Blow Me!: I see.
Blow yourself.: Do you see?
Another fucking meeting!: Yes, we should discuss this.
I really don't give a shit: I don't think it will be a problem.
FUCK IT - it won't work: I'm not sure if it can be implimented.
He's a fucking retard: He's a bit confused
Your typing sucks!: I'm having troubles reading this
He's a fucking asshole and everybody hates his ugly ass: He has great management potential / He's make a great manager.
This company sucks!: This company should be reorganized.
This fucking computer is a peice of shit!: I think the system needs to be upgraded.
That goes to prove, it's not who you know, but who you blow.: I hear she is a really good typist.
He's such an ass kisser: He is working at climbing the corporate ladder.